Chapter 33 ~ Saviour

I ran to the water’s edge, looked at the muddy surface; algae and turbulence.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Turned back, looked up the hill at the waiting masses, deflated after their midsummer madness spectacle; back to sitting on the grass and waiting to die.

Nothing.

Looked right, towards the Dakota building rising over the trees of Strawberry Fields.

Nothing.

Children, yes. Holding their parents’ hands, bouncing balls, playing with dogs, licking ice creams, teetering on roller blades. All of that.

But sign of Bella? Nothing.

I looked the other way, where the path wound to the ornamental bridge, The Rambles on the other side, rising rocks and thickening undergrowth.

I knew in my gut that she’d gone in there.

That intuition, a niggle that made me feel like I wanted to crap or puke or both at the same time.

If I’d been a parent, I would have gone straight to the nearest cop.

Only, at that moment, I didn’t know whether I would have asked him to help me find Bella or just handed myself in.

I wanted to be her father.

I wanted it more than anything.

I didn’t want to be alone with the panic. With the threat.

I headed towards the bridge, fighting back the urge to run, biting down on the panic as it rose like a lava burst. Up the steps, onto the bridge and crossing its smooth wooden surface, looking ahead, left, right, seeing nothing, no sign of her nor a glimpse of her new clothes amongst the throngs.

Into The Rambles.

Wilderness New York style; contrived, manufactured, designed and yet somehow just the right side of being farcical. Paths crumbled through neglect, steps cracked and broken, small rivulets of water found their own way down the mini-escarpment at the centre of the wilderness.

I tried to imagine where she might have gone. She was only small, so climbing the steps was out unless… No. I would not consider that somebody had snatched her. No.

No.

I followed the path around by the side of the lake. Trees and undergrowth grew thicker as I advanced, the sound of the city summer fading as I left the rowing boats behind.

I heard her crying.

As the sound of the crowd back at the lake diminished, I heard her crying.

How I knew it was her, I didn’t know.

I began to run.

And saw her through the trees at the intersection of two paths, standing, crying. With a bum towering over her. She was looking up at him, terrified, and I didn’t know what he had done; was doing. I began to run harder, finding no voice to shout. No voice. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream at him to get away from her.

From my daughter.

But nothing came out.

I thought of Sanderson, being dragged across the lot by Joel, his hair stretching out above his head.

I was closing in.

“Bella!” I yelled, finally finding my voice.

She didn’t hear me, just stayed staring up at the bum.

I could smell him now, coming closer, within range, hoping I wasn’t too late.

He didn’t hear me.

He crouched by her side. Spoke to her.

Reached out a hand, put it under her chin, turned her face to his, leaned in as if to kiss her and I hit him like a train; no grace, no tackle, no form, I just ran straight into him. He fell with me and we tumbled in a tumult of limbs, over and around each other.

When we stopped moving, I opened my eyes and was looking at the ground.

“What the fuck?” the bum shouted, his voice shredded by too many years on the street, “what are you doing, man?”

And then he was on my back, his hands, scabby, crusted, reaching around to claw at my eyes. I smelled his breath as it wafted around my head, enveloping me, a cloud that tightened my throat and choked my own breath.

“Stop it!” I yelled, but his fingers continued to scrabble at my cheek, skittering like cockroaches, clawing like talons. As I thrashed to avoid their grasp, I caught sight of Bella and she wasn’t just crying any more, she was screaming her lungs out, horrified by what she was witnessing.

Seeing her there, knowing she was watching, that she was seeing me pinned by this bum who was in the act of…

I thrashed harder and succeeded in flipping him off for a moment.

Others were running now, drawn by Bella’s screams.

Double the entertainment today, an illogical thought flashed through my head.

The bum was on his feet and coming at me again. I stayed on my knees and as he drew near enough, fired myself upward, shoulder into his gut, lifting him off his feet as I stood, carrying him off his feet. We continued the parabola and I was suddenly dropping through the air towards him as he landed on his back, badly winded. I hit him, full force, jarring impact shuddering through my shoulder and spine. The top of my head connected with his jaw and it snapped shut.

He lay still and, for the briefest moment, I rested on him.

Only a moment. Bella’s tears dragged me away.

There was a woman with her now, crouching down next to her and reaching her hand out under Bella’s chin, turning the kid’s head to face her and drawing close, like she was about to kiss her.

I did a double take. At Bella, at the bum and back again. Crossed to where Bella stood next to the crouching woman. Bella watched me approach and, for a moment, I wondered whether she would scream at me. Wasn’t I just an assailant who’d been around her longer than any other at this particular moment?

But Bella didn’t scream, or cry.

She reached her arms out to me.

I scooped her up and held her close.

Looked at the woman as she stood.

“Thank you,” I whispered, nuzzling into Bella’s hair, smelling the wino but also the kid, “thank you.”

The woman looked over at the wino. At Bella and I. Back at the wino.

“I didn’t hit him that hard,” I said, “he’ll sleep it off.”

“What about the cops?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“I think he was trying to help,” I admitted my mistake, “I thought he was about to… But… But… “

She patted my arm.

“It’s OK,” she said. “Bums. Too many of them in the city since Giuliani left – can’t trust them. Are you gonna be OK?”

I nodded.

She smiled. “You’d better get that girl home to her mother. And hey, do me a favour, OK? Buy her an ice cream on the way, OK?”

I smiled a little at this.

The woman looked down at the bum and her distaste was clear. Like she could have spat on him. Like she felt she should have spat on him. Looked back at me. Smiled.

“You’re a good father,” she said, “have a great day.”

She walked away and I was left hugging Bella who was finally quiet, breathing against me.

I walked over to where the bum lay on the ground. Stood still for a moment, listening. Listening.

He was breathing.

I took Bella out of The Rambles, across the fairy-tale bridge, up the hill and through Sheep Meadow, past the zoo, towards home.

We stopped for an ice cream before we left the park, standing at one of the refreshment carts while the guy dug deep inside to find the particular flavour Bella had pointed at on the sign.

Bella and I. Just a father and daughter out for a day in the park.

Bella, my daughter.

Which made me her father.

We finished our ice creams and went home.

Chapter 34 ~ Inside The Cat’s Eyes

Chapter 32 ~ Family Rules – Part X

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